Screaming With My Mouth Closed

6 years….

jessicaauner — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 01:18:39 +0000

Six years ago tomorrow I married my best friend. We were both Christians but far from living a godly life. We had lived together for about 4 years and had the guilt of us living together not married finally won out. We were married in the judges chambers with his mom, sister, brother, and his moms friend there as witnesses. It was a really simple thing… I borrowed a dress, I had a blue garter on, he had on khaki pants and a blue button down shirt on. We were married at 11am on a Tuesday and he went back to work at 1pm. We stopped and had $1 burgers at McDonald’s. Our plan was to have a big wedding in the Summer when my Daddy got out of prison and my mom came down from Pa. We were satisfied to know that we weren’t living in sin any more. However approximately three weeks later we conceived our first born. (totally unplanned) And our priorities changed. No longer did it seem ok to spend money on a dress and flowers.We had a baby on the way

Bobby is my best friend. when I was 15 I broke up with this boy who treated me horribly.a few months later on the way to pick up some BBQ that my mom’s friend had bought us from her churches fund raiser I gave it over to God. I silently prayed that I would not have anything to do with boys until He told me it was the right time.
Once we got there me and my best friend and my little sister (who was 7 at the time) found the daughter of my mom’s friend. We gabbed liked girls do. then these two boys walked in the room. The tall one sat down in a chair and when he looked at me from across the room, the whole room faded out. the only thing that broke the stare was this girl that flopped in his lap and threw her arms around him. “Player” I thought. And my mom told us it was time to go. We walked out and went to our car, just as we were about to get in the car the two boys burst through the doors of the church “wait, what’s your name?” the tall one said. Looking at my friend I said “we don’t yell across church lawns at boys.” yeah right. So we got in the car and off we went. Until about 5 mins later we see the boys in the truck behind us. They followed us 15 mins into town and into the Kroger parking lot. My mom, best friend and little sister all jumped out and (pretended) to ignore the boys. He got out and leaned against his truck crossed his arms and I kid you not looked (to me) JUST LIKE James Dean. I was putty in his hand from that moment on. He asked my mom if he could follow me home to get to know me better. Later that night I asked her “he followed me home, mom, can I keep him?” We dated a year and then we sinned.
Just like Adam and Eve with the Garden of Eden, God drove us apart. I got married and he got engaged. not even a year later on my 18th birthday my then husband told me he got a girl(with my name) pregnant and wanted out of our marriage. 6 months later I met back up with Bobby. I was living in my car. I had no family here(all my family moved TN, NY, PA, MN). I was at a very lonely place. Bobby and I got reacquainted and by winter we were dating. The colder it got the more I hated leaving his house and sleeping in parking lots. So eventually I moved in with him. we lived together 4 years. Then one day he came home and said “we need to get right with God” we tried not to “be together” but it was impossible. So I made an appointment with the judge and Viola!
He’s my best friend. He’s seen me through my mom mentality losing it and my dad, step mom, brother and little sister all going to prison. Tons of funerals, we’ve been white water rafting, mountain hiking, moved to different states, a cancer scare, jobs, drugs and plumbing licenses and being arrested. I praise God for him. He’s truly my other half. Six years is a drop in the bucket (praise God) but we have been through so much.Tested in so many ways. And tomorrow I take another test… One to see if our family is expanding. It seems fitting that it would be on March 11th.

The Happiest Day of My LIFE!!!!

jessicaauner — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 01:34:23 +0000

My 5year old son just begged me to tell him how he can have God in his heart. then he told me about a dream he had where a woman took his picture with a camera… It showed his heart and in his heart was a little boy who looked like black suited spider man (my MIL let him watch the movie) I explained that black suited spiderman(BSS) was like sin and that everyone has BSS in their heart and the only way to have your heart become good spiderman was to ask God in your heart and to have Him be your Lord and Savior. I told him that We have to ask God to be in our hearts and to ask God to help you to grow closer to Him every day and to hate BSS and to try and be a godly boy who loves God.Once he nodded and said he understood he asked me to pray for him. Not wanting to lead him the The Sinners Prayer. I told him to pray from his heart. The little boy got on his hands and knees and covered his face with his hands and bowed his head till his hands were touching the floor. then he spoke the most sincere and heart spoken plea for God to live and dwell inside him and to turn him away from sin and to help him grow closer to God so that he could love Him “more than my transformers that You gave me.”
I am humbled and am in awe of what I watched take place. My God has given to me my son as a Brother in Christ so now though we have but a little time on earth I can spend eternity with him in Heaven praising God together. I can’t stop crying.

I don’t support abortions… DO I?

jessicaauner — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 20:23:23 +0000

So I learned something that is distressing to say the least. Several of my sons needed vaccines contain cell lines from aborted fetuses.At first I freaked… No kid of mine is gettin another vaccine. then I stopped and cooled down, did some research and thought things through. This is what I learned. the Rubella vaccine does contain cell lines from an aborted fetus, a fetus that was aborted in 1964. The continue to nourish the cell line so that they can continue using it but all the vaccines come from that one aborted child. The Chicken Pox vaccine is the same way except with a younger aborted child because the vaccine didn’t come out until the mid nineties (I think I will have to verify the exact date)
From what I can gather there are exactly 4 fetus’ cell lines that are used today and for the most part you can get alternatives. Except for chicken pox, rubella, Ebola, HIV and Hep-A.
the choices…. if we don’t get our youngest son immunized for rubella he can’t attend school and later college. He won’t be able to get certain jobs and it will be a subject brought up time and again. Is this something to fight about?
I think so.. I think that parents should be given the information and should be able to make informed decisions about things like this. Here is a link with a list of vaccines that contain aborted fetus cells and their alternatives. http://www.christianpatriot.com/vaccines.htm
I will be printing this out and taking this to my doctor.
Funny how Satan sneak in there with something so innocent. I really feel the whole “he waged war against the saints” Thoughts? Comments?

Get the Door it’s….. ME!

jessicaauner — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 04:33:34 +0000

So on Tuesday I have an interview with Pizza Hut as a driver. It’s the PH that’s on… well lets just say it’s not a great section of tow and that my area would be… You get the picture. BUT they pay like $6.25 an hour and you make tips and it would be at night so Bobby would be home with the boys.there are as in any situation in life pros and cons. Ready here we go

Pros: 1.) Money, duh the reason I’m doing this. We can pay bills ON TIME!!!!

4.) I get to use my new GPS that I got for Christmas EVERYDAY!!!!

3.)I might make friends

4.)I can work on my plan for world domination.. first a driver, then a manager, then a regional manager, then a CEO, then OWNER, then Senator, then President!!!!!! ok ok,,, a LITTLE far fetched and I really think that I don’t have time to take over the world…. plus you know what I realized the other day???? Presidents can’t go shopping on black Friday…so ok moving on

Cons 1.) Every driver that I’ve known has been either raped of beaten up while delivering pizza’s. Seriously… totally not joking.

2.) No more dinners with my family (my shifts would be 6pm-11pm)

3.)Family Worship would be Manly Man worship (because I would be at work)

4.) Bobby couldn’t attend his beloved Men’s Meeting(hey I told him he could bring the boys… he wasn’t to keen on that)

5.) Exhaustion. I would need to get starting at 5 and go to work get home a little after 11 (if I get off on time but come on do you ever get off right on time?) so realistically I wouldn’t be getting to bed till after midnight. then I have to get up and clean house, laundry, and school with the boys, and then get ready to do it all over again. Red Bull is my fried.

So that’s that. No I’m not complaining…. or whining…. a girl has to do what a girl has to do. Just a plea to pray for me.

Until Next Time.

From life to Hell.

jessicaauner — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 18:49:43 +0000

So last Friday my mom’s long standing “guy friend” they were bf/gf but then just settled for bff. Anywho, he was diagnosed with cancer about a year ago I think… they treated it and then it went into remission. then out of remission to attack his body with a vengeance. So even before this my mom and I have been witnessing to him but he was very adimet that it was “our God” not his. ok… so last Friday we knew it was the end. my mom held the phone up to his ear and I said my goodbyes and I pleaded with him even in this final hour to accept Christ. No dice. at about 11:00am the next morning he passed. I know that God is glorified in his death. I know that he had ample opportunity to choose and that he hardened his heart against God and so now he is in eternal torment because of it. God is still good. but it is oh so sad. I was talking to my mom and I said that if my little sister or even my child were to die without accepting Christ as their Savior we should still be happy but even that… even in that horrible awful scenario God is still glorified. How? I have no idea. Why? because He is faithful and good. But it is hard.

I am trying desperately to get a flight to where he is so I can be there for the memorial service on the 19th(ish) I really want to witness to the family and maybe after all this, some of his kin will not go where he has gone. I guess I am just praying and leaving it in God’s hands because we have no money. We don’t have the $300 it would take for me to fly up there… but if God would use me as a missionary in that way the money would fall from the sky. It would produce itself. and if not… it’s God’s will. but oh so bittersweet the feelings I am feeling right now.

Christians not celebrating Christmas???

jessicaauner — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 15:04:14 +0000

There is a site I frequent and they are all Christians and the majority do not celebrate Christmas… not the whole Santa thing… that’s another post for another time… no they don’t Celebrate the birth of Christ on December 25th… they say they celebrate it all year long and it isn’t a God instituted holiday. they are also anti-nativity scene.!!!!!! Schoking I know… I have never in my life come across a Christian that didn’t celebrate Christmas.

Thoughts? Comments???

Until Next Time

Yesterday a Birthday, Tomorrow Christmas

jessicaauner — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 14:55:00 +0000

——————————————————————————–

So yesterday my oldest son turned 5!!!! it’s hard to imagine 6 years ago not having a son or any children at all!!
Anyways we had a Transformers party… I made a “Alspark” cake. He dressed in his BumbleBee costume and the kids all had optimus prime maskes. Then the men of the party donned on decepticon maskes (hand made) and they burst in the front door and tried to capture the CUBE (a box we decorated) so the “autobots” had to defend with their life the CUBE. after they won we opned presents and had cake… the party started at 6pm got over at 9 and then clean up took till 11. today I have to remove all evidence of a party and then bake 8 loaves of bread for my Grandmas house tonight and then I have to help the kids make Santa (no offence to anyone) cookies… Daddy…er Santa likes the really heavely icinged cookies.whew… what a week.

Until Next Time….

Question: it was 5 years ago we brought our son home, and it seems like the time has FLOWN by…. but the time before that, that we had NO kids seems like a whole other life time ago, does anyone else feel like that about their kids?

No good deed goes unpunished

jessicaauner — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 22:52:40 +0000

So I desided to bake bread for the neighbors. Like 7 loaves now and 10 more on Christmas eve… I know ambitious right? So I was baking away and Bobby was out in the yard raking and burning leaves. So I ask him to get me a red bull… man I love those things… God blessed us when He created that. Anywho so Bobby desided to get me to try Amp. So he tells me to watch the fire and not let it go out. So I amd Happy are outside with the fire… I throw some leaves on the fire and then the dog gets stuck… great so I am tring to get the dog unstuck when I turn around and realize the whole 5ft tall pile of leaves is on fire…. can we say Holy Crap!!!!! So I grap the hose… it’s kinked… I throw my Mt. Dew on it.. yeah right, I throw a bucket of water on it… no go I franticlly struggle with the hose… the fire goes straight for the gas tank of Bobby’s car. I watch action movies.. I’ve seen Die Hard. I know what happens when fire even touches the gas tank. I panic… I litterally cry out to God and the neighbors. God listens the neighbors don’t. The hose works, the fire is put out…. all is safe. I’m tried and totally conviced that I will never be a firefighter… then Bobby comes home… he gets mad that the pile of leaves is wet. I yell at him for not caring about me… I leave. Me and the leaves cool down… we make up… all is well.

So what happens when you try to make bread?

Until Next time.

Come on get Happy

jessicaauner — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 22:42:44 +0000

Ok so here’s the deal, my mom and little sis visited for a week they left yesterday. My mom gave the boys a dachshund… a weiner dog. Her name is Happy. I am not a dog person… I tried and failed to be a dog person so we decided to be bengal cat people. Then came Happy. She’s cute, small, housebroken and the best part is she doesn’t bark. that’s right people. she has barked a total of 4 times in 4 days. and they were single barks to get the cats out her dish. Pretty cool huh? so I guess…. begrudingly I am a dog person… a Happy dog person… but come on only Scrooge couldn’t like this dog. Oh and BTW she looks JUST like Max on The Grinch Stole Christmas cartoon. The good one not the one with Jim Carrey.

Frump….

jessicaauner — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 01:23:15 +0000

Dude, I’m bored.

Have you ever been so bored you don’t know what to do? usually it gets me into trouble… I either shop or pick a fight… or eat. Don’t judge… You do too… anyways… the house is clean (praise God!), the kids are asleep, we have no new movies to watch, and there isn’t anything on TV. what to do… oh and we are BROKE!

So here’s the Q what do you do when you’re bored?

Until Next Time